Monthly Archives: August 2015

Reading Friday: Through My Children’s Eyes

stock-photo-young-man-reading-a-book-244451953I love my two oldest children, but they tend to fight. A lot. Kath is liberal and strong-willed. MJ is conservative and equally strong-willed. My usual thought is to let them settle their differences unless one is sitting on the other or blood is spurting profusely out of one of them. Then I step in. My WH says if they ever figure out how to work together since they are also both very intelligent, we’re in true trouble. So when they aren’t fighting and are having a real conversation with the other, I tend to listen. One to make sure they aren’t plotting against my WH and myself, and second because when they agree on something, it’s worth hearing.

Yesterday, MJ started talking about an informal poll he took in his seventh grade math class. He asked his fellow classmates what their favorite book is. He expected a lot of people to say The Hunger Games and expected to extrapolate some data on reading habits for his math project. Most of the people in his class told him they don’t read unless it’s for school. Now, some of them may have said this because reading may not be perceived by some seventh graders as the coolest activity (and for the record, reading is the coolest activity, ever.) Nevertheless it struck me that for some kids in middle school, they no longer want to read books.

Kath heard this and jumped into the conversation. Her observation was that these kids have no problem reading all the texts on their phones, so they obviously do read. Then she asked a question that struck me to the core and became my blog topic for today: “What do people who don’t read do with their time?

MJ piped up immediately and said he didn’t know and didn’t want to know. They talked some more about the topic, both agreeing (which, if you didn’t gather from the first paragraph, was a minor miracle in and of itself) that a life without books isn’t what they want from their lives.

As a parent, I loved this conversation between them, but as a person, it left me worried. What do people who don’t read books do with their time? There are some days I may only get to read a couple of pages of my book, but I love to read and try to read everyday. To me, one of the things I’m looking forward to in winter is snuggling in front of the fireplace with a roaring fire going and a good book.

With the proliferation of the home computer and now the sheer number of television programs, are people eliminating books from their daily lives? I hope not. There’s something to be said for living life, and days are often full with work, school, children’s activities, the rare date with WH, family time, meals, and so on. But to me, the day isn’t complete without opening the pages of a book or opening my Kindle and reading part of a story. The wonderful thing about reading is I’ve gone to outer space, medieval times, tropical islands, pioneer America, the cold climes of Canada, and more all from the comfort of my couch or my bed or wherever I open my book.

The other day, Cupcake came home and said her teacher gave her books to take home. I tried to explain to her that I bought the books from Scholastic and paid for them. She didn’t care. She just wanted me to read them to her and Chunk. They cuddled up with me, and I read to them.

Yesterday as MJ and Kath were debating what people who don’t read do, I was struck once again with the age differences between my kids. But I’ve written this before, and I think it bears repeating, I hope that kids and adults of all ages continue to read books even after they graduate from school. I didn’t have an answer for MJ and Kath about what people who don’t read books do all the time. I still don’t have that answer. But it made me think. There’s a book out there for everyone. So go find one and read.

What are you reading now? When was the last time you finished a book? Let me know.

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Writing Tuesday: Keeping Your Eye on the Ball

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I love to watch professional tennis on television. Now I can even watch even more tennis on my iPad as more matches are available through various apps. The way Roger Federer can hit a backhand while making it look so effortless is a thing of beauty. Serena’s aces? More powerful than a locomotive, and I often realize I’m glad I’m not on the other side of the net as she booms those serves. I can’t imagine trying to return one. My poor WH knows this is not a newfound hobby for me. One year for his birthday, we had convinced my parents to watch Kath (who, at the time, was an only child) so we could get away for a much needed couple of days away. There was just one problem. There had been so many rain delays the gentlemen’s finals of Wimbledon fell on Monday, his special day. Patrick Rafter v. Goran Ivanisevic. He still sighs whenever he remembers his waiting for me until the final ball was struck and Goran Ivanisevic held the trophy high. Yeah, I couldn’t leave with the outcome of Wimbledon hanging in the balance. But the amazing thing is how much you can learn about writing the more you learn about tennis.

Originally I had four points in one blog about what I’ve learned from tennis, but it became a really long discourse. So I decided to chop it up into four different weeks. The great thing about that is it gives me my next four writing blogs.

Keep your eye on the ball. The very first thing my first tennis teacher told me was to keep my eye on the ball. When you lose sight of the ball, you can’t hit the ball and you’ll lose the point. If you ever watch tennis on television, one thing strikes you: the intense concentration on the tennis ball. Even in still pictures sports photographers snap of the players, the players’ eyes never veer from the ball. If you don’t know who he is, google Novak Djokovic. There’s a reason he’s number one in the world. The sheer desire of anticipating the ball and intense focus on striking it back across the net is written all over his face. There’s a reason he’s one of the most entertaining players in tennis, and when he plays Roger Federer or Andy Murray, well, my husband knows I’ll be watching the match.

As a writer, I’ve learned one very important lesson from the best: WRITE. In writing, you have to write. If you lose sight of writing the words or revising the words, you lose sight of the story. If you don’t write them down, you don’t have anything to rewrite. No matter whether you’re the type of writer who can write a strong first draft or if you have to edit your book twenty times, you have to keep your eye on the story. Write, write, write.

There are times it is so easy to find yourself distracted away from the ball/story. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest. Oh, it’s so tempting to go spend five minutes here and there on social media and click the yellow circle at the top of my document to minimize the page. But then, I sometimes remember the concentration of the best in their field. Tennis players focus on the ball. In a number of workshops, all the authors say the same thing: write. Get the words in, then you can indulge in social media or ten pages of reading your book.

So keeping your eye on the ball is the first thing tennis has taught me. Next week, I’ll be discussing moving forward. Do you watch any sports? What life lessons have you taken away from sports or some other activity (quilting, cooking, gardening)? Let me know.

Reading Wednesday: Not for a Day but for a Lifetime

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When we moved into our house, my mother-in-law and father-in-law drove their truck over and delivered boxes of old toys to us. They were tired of my WH’s toys cluttering up their life. It was time for the toys to become part of our cluttered life. For a couple of weeks, we’d paw through the boxes whenever we had the time. We’d laugh at the headless GI Joes and the Han Solo heads, wondering why on earth a bunch of toy figures missing arms, legs, torsos, and other body parts were all thrown in a plastic bag without any rhyme or reason. My in-laws (who are truly wonderful people) had saved Fisher-Price construction play sets and various other toys. When I was young, my father was in the military and we moved around a lot. Many of my childhood toys were who knows where, but through all the moves, my parents insisted on keeping my Dr. Seuss books and I insisted on keeping my Trixie Belden books. So I dug through my WH’ s boxes searching for all the books his parents must have kept for him. I found a couple of Disney books, a couple of Choose Your Own Adventure books, and some others, but nothing like my stash of treasured books that no matter where we went always came with me. And it dawned on me. Not everyone saved his or her childhood books.

When we moved from place to place, there were always books with new characters to read. Those were a constant for me. When I was pregnant with my first child, I dreamt of reading her the stories that fascinated me as a child. Lo and behold, I discovered my child had her own ideas of what fascinated her as far as stories (which is how it should be). While I was into romance novels, mysteries, and biographies, Kath has discovered her own favorite genres and authors. (Whatever you do, never get Kath started on John Green who is her very favorite author, and she will talk about how wonderful he and Hank are.) For a while, though, I was worried. Kath didn’t start reading on her own until she was six. Oh, I read to her. We’d go to the library. She’d pick out twenty books and I’d have to plop down and read until I was hoarse. She loved books. She just wasn’t reading on her own. Her kindergarten teacher listened to my worries and patted my hand. She was sweet as can be and assured me there wasn’t anything wrong with my daughter. We each develop at our own pace, and when reading clicked with her, her reading comprehension would zoom. The teacher was right.

Chunk, my youngest son, is the opposite. He taught himself to read when he was two and has been reading everything in sight since then. At preschool, I had a parent come to me and ask me, “How did I do it?” I assured her that I didn’t do anything other than read to him, but I added something that I thought was much more important. I don’t care what age my children start reading. I care and want them to continue reading all their lives. It’s more important to me that they don’t just read for one day. I want to encourage them to keep reading, keep exploring, keep finding new stories.

If you have children, how do you foster a love of books for them? If you don’t have children and you love to read, then who started you on your path of reading? Let me know.

Excuses: What’s in your Wallet?

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Excuses. Most of us make them at one time or another. I myself make more than my fair share. It’s been easy for me to think that I’ll put off writing a blog because it’s summer. Time for vacation. Time for family. Time to check Facebook one more time rather than write my blog. It’s not that I don’t like to blog. I actually love blogging. But the excuses piled up, and with one life event after another, it was easier to blame something else rather than myself for taking time to blog.

My excuses have run dry. My family vacation and writing conference vacation are over. My children are back in school. And Facebook and Twitter, while wonderful, can do without me for an hour. They’ll be fine. So it’s time for me to reconnect with the part of me that likes to ramble on about subjects I love.

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Writing. For years, I made excuses about not writing. I can’t write a book because I don’t know how. I can’t write a book because it’s too hard. I thought of all these characters and stories, but I also thought of all my excuses and used them as crutches. One by one I began to confront my excuses. One by one I knocked them down like bowling pins. I don’t know how? Join a writing organization. Learn from the best in the field. Read craft books. It’s too hard? Life can be hard. I graduated from law school. Once you’ve had Professor S., anything else is a breeze as long as you go into it with your head held up high. I ran out of excuses. I began to write and finished a book. Later I learned about the advantages of RWA and my local chapter. My first critique was an eye opener in that I learned I had a lot to learn, but to my amazement, the published author laughed at something I wrote and put a smiley face next to the words. Encouragement at its best.

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Reading. I can’t remember ever not being able to read. When I was a kid, my Aunt Julie and Uncle Ziggy visited from Pennsylvania. Instead of a T-shirt or some souvenir from Pittsburgh, they brought me the latest Trixie Belden book. Was I a lucky kid to have such great relatives or what? All my life I’ve always had a book at my side. Even now, I usually carry my Kindle in my purse so I have a backup book with me. My excuses for not reading don’t involve not having anything to read but time. Oh, I need to check Facebook. Oh, I need to respond to this e-mail. Oh, oh, and more “oh”s. One of my wonderful GRW chapter mates delivered a workshop to us in which she detailed why we shouldn’t look at a computer for a certain amount of time before falling asleep. The color saturation and vibrancy hinder falling asleep. And I thought about it. Sure enough, instead of reading before bed, I’m checking Facebook or tweeting when what I really want to do is simply read my book. I’m still bad about not quitting the computer at a reasonable hour, but I’m trying to read more because I love it: the stories, the characters, the settings. No more excuses about not reading. I read night-night stories to my kids. It’s important to read stories to myself.

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Family. Big sigh. I remember when I was six or seven asking my mom to color with me, and she said she had to clean the house. I thought I’d never be that type of mom, but lo and behold, I make excuses here also. I have to fold one more basket of laundry. After I take MJ to Scouts. I’ll be home as soon as I finish editing my chapter. Today they have just all left for school. My oldest is a senior in high school. The twins are entering kindergarten. I know the time flies way too fast. I know there comes a time when Cupcake and Chunk won’t want me to read them bedtime stories. So yes. I’ll be the neighbor with the messy house. So I can watch Curious George with the twins. So I can read them night-night stories. So I can take all of them out for an ice cream cone.

They are all back in school, and it’s time for me to stop making excuses and start writing full time, start reading more, and color with the twins.

Have any excuses held you back from doing something you love? Let me know.